Category: Rambling

Empty Nest

We have been demonized 8x by 5 offspring, of 8. Empty nest is not so much an empty home, for us. A residence with no youth, offspring or laughter bouncing off of walls.

Empty nest is a feeling in your heart and soul. A type of mourning for a person you gave your entire life for. A loss of kinship with someone you believed would always be there. Not physically, but emotionally.

We have always taken pride in our young humans. The people we raised. They all show great empathy, honor and work ethic you rarely see these days. They do great service to their chosen communities. They raise their children with an endless love. BUT for us, their parents, we receive disgust, we are tuned out, we are treated with sarcasm and a sense of bullying junior high click girls aspire to in their dreams.

The question, in my brain, from all that is what, why, how! What have I done. Why have they turned against us? How did we get here. Basic psychology explains it. For some young adults, they need to create a firestorm from a grain of sand to separate from the parents they were so close to. It is a rite of passage.

WHY?!?

I have reached my point of mourning where when I reflect, run into one of them, have to have a phony public conversation I walk away with so much anger. How dare they!

We have brought one through this to the other side. She is mid 30’s raising her own teens. A sense of empathy has finally developed and our personal walls are such that we can spend an afternoon together. We can say our piece comfortably. We understand our differences and she knows to not take any of it personally. She is comfortable with Mom and Dad living a separate life that she and her spouse would not enjoy.

This allows me to block out the toxic. Stand my ground. Protect the two still at home from their siblings’ infective lifestyles and distaste.

The only thing left that causes me tears and sorrow is the grand children. We do not know them. We are demonized to them. We can not reach out to them. There is a hole from that. I have no point of reference to calm my fears as to their futures. Grand parents are an important part of children’s lives! They are a string to the past, a neutral pure love, someone who doesn’t care about the discipline and job of parenting. They are a hug, cookie and a quiet home to retreat to for safety when the world is chaos. Someone who encourages love and forgiveness of parents and siblings. Someone who will not take sides.

We all need to learn unconditional love and our grandparents are the best example of that as we grow up. This generation has a hole and I worry about their function as adults without us there.

Empty nest is not a HOME without offspring. Empty nest is a HEART without generational offspring to reach out to and share your joy of the day.

~Life~ and it’s challenges

 
So…. We woke up one morning to no supplemental power!

It’s been a L~O~N~G time!
We went through maintenance of the generator, A Honda eu2000i master. It was running great. The only problem was we noticed some problem with air flow in the exhaust. It is a $200+ part. So we cleaned it as best we could and put that on the list for next season.
MISTAKE! No more than a few months later we were without power again. We had solar power and battery bank for normal daily issues, lights, electronics, for basic communication and kids school, running my fridge enough hours to keep things cold. BUT we could not run the chest freezer, Rob could not use power tools, I couldn’t run my 5 incubators or brooders with electicity, all my grow lights were put on stand buy for the brightest of days, our big screen TV and good Bluray player could not be used in the evening….. AND the list of “luxuries” goes on.
My Convenient life has been on hold! My business plans have been on hold! My sharing of my growth and development with all my long distance family and followers…. you guessed it, ON HOLD!!! So FRUSTRATING!!!
Today, we were able to get the good genny up and running, it works! 18 LONG months later.

We have all our ducks in a row for this year! We have plans, we have ability, we have time and we have funds….
The best laid plans of mice and men…… God only knows, but I hope to share more starting Monday.
“ALL MY DUCKS ARE IN A ROW!”
All you loyal followers, don’t hold your breath. Please knock on wood and cross your fingers. I have been here before. I have a good feeling this time.
I am optimistic and I have a family blessing in the arena of empathy. I hope to see you on Monday.
Thank you for sticking with us! WE ARE BACK!


Let’s start this day right; my intentions for the next 14 hours.

 

 

 

Terry'sTruck
The family.  Taken about 5 years ago.

Today’s goals….

Finish hubbies glove liners, knit, short row style, variegated wool. Pattern will post soon.  Just a few tweaks left. I am new to this felting thing.  I always snubbed it before, but my lovers likes thinsulate and I try to stay all natural and hand crafted.  My thought process was to slowly ease him into felted wool hats and liners.

Start 2nd pair of gloves/liners testing a 2 color reversible style.  I can finish one glove a day with all my other chores.  So hopefully not biting off more than I can chew.

Fill up my quota in my to shops.  Don’t get excited and look for links.  I have no less than 15 huge rubbermaid totes filled with dye, glass and stone beads, fibers and yarn packed in all the nooks and crevices in my house.  I am attempting to move beyond my pack rat tendencies and release my excess.  It will be 10 listings, as that is my max allowed currently.  Nothing exciting or dramatic.  I am embarrassed by my slim start and will share sale pages as I get farther along.

Correct all the kids school work as they finish!  Let’s make this a good Monday and not blow off that lesson you know they always do correctly because they live and breathe and that damned glove will be no better or worse off for being ignored for a few minutes!

Walk The Bruce for an hour before dark with the baby.  The Bruce is a very young hybrid male.  The poor guy has been depressed lately, not winter wolf disorder! One of his pack reached an age of senility and degeneration so she needed to be put down a few days ago.  AND “the baby” hit 10 this year and they grow to fast, as her 7 other siblings are proof of, we need one on one time.

Make a healthy fulfilling dinner at a descent proper hour.  The plan for tonight is Panbagna.  Not sure about the spelling, but I found this recipe over 20 years ago and LOVE it.  Basically a veggie loaded meat loaf baked in a 2 day old fat loaf of bread. Yes, I will post the recipe in a future post.

Get to bed before 8:30, for tomorrow starts at 3:30 and I am a bitch without proper sleep.

In this media driven world, picture are key.  Well, we lost everything during the fires this year. No, no fire at my house.  We do have new residents in our neck of the woods and they enrich their lives by making yours simpler. I came home from an evacuation to find broken glass, cut up fencing, missing tools, electronics, etc.  So I sit here with my hubbies lap top and no phone or camera.  I’ll replace it soon, I hope.  I apologize for the lack of current images.  I’ll figure something out.

I get side tracked by tangents easily.  All things contained I will elaborate on in the future, from this summers fires to the bread I use to make the Panbagna.  I could carry on for the entire day, but things to do…..